A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Date Watched:  May 1, 2010

Source:  Theatre

Right from the get-go I was excited to see this because of Jackie Earle Haley.  This guy is creeptastic on his own, let alone as Freddy Krueger.  It was a little odd though because he really did look so much different from Englund’s Krueger.  They made him look more like a burn victim for starters, and the shape of the face is way different especially around the lips.  But obviously, that was going to happen anyway.

As 80s slasher remakes go, this one is pretty darned good.  Freddy became much more serious and he was quiet a talker, but I think maybe it works because the background of the story is such a part of the film.  It’s a serious plot, so a serious Freddy makes more sense.  The backstory of Krueger and the kids was a bit predictable, but it was also just as disturbing as any story of child abuse is.  Haley did an incredible job as Freddy pre-burn.  It was just absolutely incredible.  I love the guy, but he plays a darned good pervert and child molester, I’m sorry to say.  This is the second time I’ve seen him play that role; the first was Little Children and he gave me the shivers in that film.  He’s just oh-my-lawsie CREEPY.  I loved it.

I loved the incorporation of a lot of the original score.  One of the best things about 80s horror was the music.  Oh, how I love 80s horror film scores.  I also loved the remakes of original scenes.  They did a really good job of tying this remake to the original, which is not often executed very well if at all in remakes.

The only downside that I can think of off the top of my head is not anything that the writers can really be faulted for.  There was too much of the surprise, startle factor.  But of course, that’s what freaks out moviegoers these days, so that’s what they have to adapt to.  But I loved the film.

Queue it on Netflix

Friday the 13th (2009)

Date Watched:  Unknown

Source:  TV

As far as remakes go, this one pretty much followed most other remakes of 80s horror/slashers.  It has a bit of the old in it, but it’s really an independent film as opposed to a remake.  The problem with remakes is that they need to employ current scare tactics.  Back in the 80s, ominous music and elongated camera shots and good lighting and all that used to come together and make it all really creepy.  Nowadays, people don’t like creepy.  They like big BOOM scares.  It’s a little ridiculous.  Scare tactics these days are just big bangs in the music and a startle factor, basically.  Sure, the gore is a lot better and probably a little more gratuitous; things have gotten a bit more twisted and gross, but the old fashioned scare tactics just don’t work on current audiences.  Which is kind of a shame.

Plus, the cheese factor is completely eliminated.  Let’s be honest here.  Most of us don’t watch old horror because it’s stellar writing or anything.  We watch it because it’s delightfully cheesy and yet creepy all at the same time.

So basically, the first mistake is that this is more of a remake of the second installment of the Jason series.  In the first, there was no Jason.  That’s not indicated anywhere in the title of this one, and it’s a little misleading.  Also, Jason was this hulking horror that smashed through walls and what have you.  Now he’s cunning and sharp.  Sure the tunnel and lair and connections to the buildings from underground was cool, but that’s not Jason.  And since when does Jason take prisoners?  He chained that girl up down there but killed the rest.  Why?  It makes no sense.  Jason doesn’t take prisoners… he just mindlessly kills everyone.

Probably their biggest issue as far as I’m concerned is the total lameness of the mask and how Jason found it.  It’s just sitting around and he picks it up and BAM, there’s the Jason we know.  Okay, sure.  Right.

On its own, it’s a good movie.  It was enjoyable to watch.  But what brings this and other remakes down is that they’re supposed to be remakes and reinterpretations… and you can’t completely change an extremely well-known character and/or storyline that’s already 20 years old and slap the old name on it and call it a day.  It just doesn’t work.  Remakes are usually pretty good (except for Rob Zombie’s Halloween but that’s another diatribe altogether) on their own, but shouldn’t be so heavily billed with the originals in mind.

Queue it on Netflix

Friday the 13th (1980)

Date Watched:  Unknown

Source:  Blockbuster

• Um, love it.
• It FELT like Stanhope, New Jersey.  For those of you who don’t know, the camp in the movie is actually Camp Allamuchy in Northwest New Jersey.  I lived there; it’s beautiful.
• I guess it’s from being a kid in the 90s, but I can’t believe that girl was so willing to jump into a strange vehicle.  The idea of hitchhiking is so foreign to me.
• Strip Monopoly is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of.
• Beheaded mommy?  LOVE IT.
• I think it’s a little silly that there really is no Jason in this one.  The mother being the killer was a tad disappointing, even though I knew that going in.
• I do love how psychotic the mother was.  It took a little bit to realize that she was getting more and more psycho as she calmly spoke.
• I absolutely loved the bathroom killing.  That girl was very stupid.
• Again, my biggest complaint is the shoddy audio that apparently all 80s movies had.  You have to turn it way up to hear them speaking, but then you make your eardrums bleed the second they play music or a creepy sound effect.

Queue it on Netflix

Needful Things (1993)

Date Watched:  Unknown

Source:  Blockbuster

Right off the bat… this is based on a book by Stephen King.  When a movie is made from a Stephen King novel, I watch it.  Although I never finished reading the book, I still wanted to see this movie.  Often times, I’ll have read the book first.  So in this case, I can’t attest to the accuracy of the movie in relation to the text.

But I will say I rather enjoyed this movie, which didn’t surprise me.  In fact, the only times I don’t like Stephen King films are when I know it’s terribly inaccurate, such as It and worst of all, Misery. (I’m considering doing posts of movies I’ve seen before I started this project, but I haven’t decided yet.  If I do, the post on Misery will be quite an undertaking; I have a lot to say.)

I think Max von Sydow was such a great choice for Leland Gaunt.  He sounds dignified, yet sinister.  Which is really interesting, considering his role as the expert priest in The Exorcist.  A stark contrast in roles, but he served Gaunt well.  Also, the choice of Ed Harris as Sheriff Alan Pangborn was pretty cool for me, because I’m very familiar with The Stand, another Stephen King work, in which he played General Starkey.  He played a person of authority in both films, but in one, his main objective was not getting involved in the evil and stamping it out, whereas in the other film, he was responsible for the evil and committed suicide over the guilt.  I really enjoy catching repeat actors in Stephen King’s films, as there are many.  In fact, Pangborn’s deputy Norris Ridgewick was played by Ray McKinnon, who also popped up in The Stand as Charlie Campion, the security guard responsible for spreading the virus outside the compound.  Very cool.  I love those kind of connections.

Anyway, the best part about this film is the intricacy of the connections between the characters.  Basically, Gaunt starts pitting the townspeople against each other, by getting them to play “pranks” that are destructive, violent, and sometimes deadly, but making it appear as though a different townsperson did the deed.  So when the prank-ee seeks revenge on the person they believe targeted them, they are actually getting back at an innocent party.  The pranks are in return for mystical purchases from Gaunt’s store, Needful Things.  The item the person couldn’t imagine owning in their wildest dreams comes at the cost of pulling this “prank.”  Eventually, Gaunt has the whole town in shambles, with everyone pitted against someone else.  The whole web spun by King is very delicate and well-executed.  The film made me really want to read the book, which I am probably going to buy next.

My only complaint is that it seemed a bit too easy to stop the townspeople and make them realize what was happening.  Sheriff Pangborn was the only person in the town who didn’t get sucked in, and he basically stood amidst the ruins of his sleepy little town of Castle Rock, Maine and gave an impromptu speech that just snapped everyone out of it.  The problem is, it wasn’t just paying back Gaunt that made them do these things.  They were all heavily under the influence of Gaunt’s black magic.  I think it should’ve taken a bit more than an impassioned speech by their noble Sheriff to set them straight, but I digress.

While my best friend and horror movie cohort “Shwam” said this movie was horrible, I enjoyed it quite a bit.  It’s surprising how many movies we disagree on so much… but you’ll see that more in future posts.

Queue it on Netflix

The Omen (1976)

Date Watched:  Unknown

Source:  Blockbuster

I really am not sure I liked this one much.  First of all, I thought the father bought into the whole Satanic thing a little too easily.  Maybe I’d have to watch it a second time… I don’t know.  I think the nanny would’ve been harder to get rid of.  She was sleeping while the father cut Damien’s hair, and I think if she would die to save Damien, she would at least wake up when someone is discovering the big secret.  Also, I think Damien would have woken up with someone pulling and cutting his hair.  And I don’t think the dog had a whole lot of relevance.

The various death scenes were cool though… falling out of the window was neat.  But the best by far was the worker beheaded by the glass.  Wonderful.

I’m going to watch the remake eventually, but it’s pretty far down in my queue.  Omen II and III are 116 and 117 in my queue, and I think when it’s time for those to arrive, I’ll re-rent this one and give it another go.  I’ll probably re-review it then.

Queue it on Netflix

Poltergeist (1982)

Date Watched:  Unknown
Source:  Blockbuster

Another classic, another list of thoughts:

• That house?  Nice on the outside, fugly on the inside.  Blech.
• The kitchen scene with the circle on the floor and the Poltergeist dragging the kid across wearing a helmet… that was hysterical.
• The chairs on the table were a pretty nifty trick, and frankly, I don’t think I would have gone in the kitchen again to discover the dragging-across-the-floor trick.
• Okay, if you’re a paranormal investigator spending the night in someone’s house, and you go into the kitchen for something to eat… wouldn’t you be nice and make a sandwich or something?  Nooooo, that fool decides to FRY A STEAK.  Really?  Who goes into someone’s house and tries that?
• Tangina, played by Zelda Rubenstein, is just as cute as a button.  In fact, according to the descriptions in the book, I thought she would’ve made a PERFECT Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter, but then I wasn’t consulted.
• I wanted to just hang out in the kids’ bedroom.  Flying toys are awesome.  Yet I would’ve been scared by the kitchen.  Odd.
• What’s with the pumpkin looking goo coming out of the closet?  Was it intended to look like pumpkin guts?
• Can we all just agree that the goo covering Diane and Carol Anne in the bathtub at the end is strawberry jelly?  I mean, really.  I had this discussion with my aunt and my godmother, who are freaked out by my horror movie watching.  How can you be scared of something that’s so yummy with peanut butter?
• They really needed to turn up the audio.  I had to have the TV blasting to hear them speaking, but then I practically blew the TV speakers every time there was music or something.
• The skulls in the swimming pool?  Nifty.
• I loved the Zombies coming up out of the ground from under the house.  What kills me though, is there could’ve easily been a ton of photographic evidence, so how come in the sequels, nobody believed them?  I guess if people believed what happened, there wouldn’t be sequels.

Queue it on Netflix

A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

Date Watched:  Unknown
Source:  Blockbuster

This is a classic… there is no way to review it.  So, for a good deal of these, I will just talk about it or list some thoughts.  So, thoughts:

• Johnny Depp was too skinny, but I love the giant 80s poof.
• I can’t look at Tina and not think of her as Brad’s girlfriend Linda in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
• Nancy’s hair was out of control and I think she whined way more than necessary.
• The part when Freddy is chasing Tina and scraping his nails on the fences on either side of the street… the way he’s running is oddly creepy for some reason.
• When a bloody Tina in a body bag is being dragged down the hallway in Nancy’s dream during school… that is one of the creepiest things I’ve seen in a horror movie.  Not sure why; it just is.
• I feel like Nancy slipped up a little bit during the aforementioned dragging scene also.  If I was watching my friend’s corpse being dragged, and I was following the blood trail, I think I would be a little too spooked to step in the blood, which Nancy did.  I thought that was odd.
• “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you.  Three, four, better lock your door.  Five, six, grab your crucifix.  Seven, eight, better stay awake.  Nine, ten, never sleep again.”  Children singing in horror movies is a classic CREEPTASTIC move.  Stephen King employs that in a lot of his movies, namely Children of the Corn and Pet Semetary.  Love it.
• Did anyone else find it weird that Glen was watching TV with it on his lap?  They aren’t light now, and they certainly weren’t lightweight in 1984.  Um, ouch?
• Geyser of blood in the middle of the bed?  Awesome.

Queue it on Netflix

Explanation.

[Addendum: August 3, 2011]

You can find the original post below, but most if it no longer fits. So I’m writing a new one, adding it to the old one so both are visible, and calling it done.

Hokay. So.

Bad stuff happened, I lost my marbles. I laid in bed watching movies all the time, and I started writing them down. Then I thought it would be cool to start a blog. And here you are.

The original name of the blog was P.A.D., which is an acronym that I still won’t divulge. Suffice it to say that the old acronym stood for what the blog/project was then. Now, it is something different. Hence the new name… The Saturday Film Project. My life is so different than it was then, that I don’t even have time really to watch movies unless it’s Saturday, while I’m not home. In the interest of keeping some modicum of anonymity, save for the one follower I know in “real life”, I’ll just leave it there.

Horror movies no longer mean I’m hurting. In fact, it probably means I’m in a decent mood.

The underlying “theme”, if you can even consider it that, is the alias I use here – Silver Shamrock. The use of the Silver Shamrock Novelties graphic, the dancing masks below, and the Conal Cochran avatar/bio simply indicates that Halloween 3: Season of the Witch is one of my all-time favorite movies. I am not a witch, I do not celebrate Samhain, and I do not worship Satan. I simply love the Halloween series, including the forever black sheep of the family, Halloween 3: Season of the Witch.

To date, the blog has existed for 1 year, 2 months, and 2 weeks. I have watched 227 movies, and blogged 224. That averages out to about 1 movie every two-or-so days. In the beginning, I used to watch anywhere between 3-5 movies a day. Now, I’m lucky if I watch three a week. But I still enjoy it, and I still enjoy the blog, and I still have some opinions on some things, so I’m still here. Horror, drama, documentaries, biographies, comedies, and all.

5.19.10
Explanation.

Basically, my life came to a crashing halt on March 7, 2010.  I won’t go into it; it’s not relevant.

But, I sank into the deepest pit of my life and couldn’t dig myself out.  I was unhinged, to put it lightly.  So in addition to therapy, medication, and my faith, I turned to another outlet that helped me a lot… my favorite art form: films.

So, I started renting movies.  First from Blockbuster, then redbox, and then I wised up and joined Netflix.

Now, I’m on a personal mission to watch as many new movies as possible.  In three months, I’ve watched 25 movies.  I’m listing them on paper, but I figured I would start a blog too… reviews and thoughts and such.

The first 8 movies won’t have dates, because I don’t remember when I watched them.  But each film post will include the date I watched it and where I got it from.  Whoopdiefreakindoo, right?

Oh, and one other thing.  I won’t tell you what P.A.D. stands for… so don’t ask.

So, that’s it.  Enjoy.  Or, not.  Doesn’t matter much to me.

[Note added June 9, 2010: There’s a lot of horror on here, but it’s not all horror. However, you can tell how I’m doing based on the amount of horror movies in a row. When I hurt, I watch horror.]

“You don’t really know much about Halloween; you thought no further than the strange custom of having your children wear masks and go out begging for candy.”