Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009)

Countdown to Halloween: October 24, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

This film started out as a hilarious, campy zombie movie. It fell kind of silent around midway though, and it stayed that way. However, I will make a list of the things that were great about it:

• The gay guys, especially the redhead.  So funny.
• The scene where the dark haired gay guy comes out to his mom.  Priceless.
• Frieda and her boyfriend in the car when the zombies attack.  “THAT’S MY BLOOD!  AAAAAHHHH!”
• Cleansing your immortal souls.
• Frieda’s dad out looking for her amongst the zombies.  That guy is awesome.
• The redneck dad’s “American Test” for Frieda.

It’s a shame this movie didn’t keep up the momentum; it could have been excellent.

See it on Netflix

The Walking Dead (2010)

Countdown to Halloween: October 14, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I went back and forth about a dozen times, debating whether or not this counted to blog for the countdown. It’s not a movie, it’s a TV series. But, it is all about zombies. Watching the entire season in two sittings the way I did takes the same amount of time as if I’d watched 3 movies, so time-wise, it’s certainly on par. Heck, the season is about the same length as Stephen King’s epic miniseries The Stand, and I definitely think that would qualify. So, whatever, I’m blogging about it.

I might not, except HOLY CRAP. Why the heck can’t movie directors and producers take a note from the folks at AMC? This is how zombies should be done. The budget for this series must rival some major blockbusters for the detail they give to each and every single zombie. It’s freakin’ incredible:

So yeah, the makeup in this series is better than a lot of the zombie movies I’ve seen. The story is solid, there’s no cheese… it’s an excellent, DEAD SERIOUS zombie drama. It’s also surprisingly gory for cable. I really don’t have a single negative thing to say about it.

…and season 2 starts this Sunday!

See it on Netflix

Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Countdown to Halloween: October 10, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

While a horror comedy isn’t really the same as horror, you pretty much have to figure that even a serious horror movie from the 80s is going to seem comical to a horror fanatic. I don’t think the intention was for every 80s horror flick to be cheesy… but it is. And so when I finished watching Return of the Living Dead, I felt refreshed again. A good 80s horror tale does wonders when you’ve watched a string of duds.

There were so many great things about this. The music is so perfect I almost wondered if John Carpenter had a hand in it. I will certainly be looking for other movies where Matt Clifford has written music, that’s for sure. The actors were perfect for 80s horror… just perfect. Cheese to the max. When Burt was sawing off the first zombie’s head, and Frank was yelling “ohhhhH!!!! OOHHHHHHH I CAN’T TAKE IT OHHHHHHHH!” I was cracking up. And with a bunch of teenagers in perfect 80s punk garb, bearing names like Scuz, Trash, and Suicide, how can you go wrong? The hair, the clothes, the music, the cheese… and the zombies!! The zombies were great! Slimy, black… rotting skeletons… even one with nothing from the waist down and a constantly twitching spinal cord. Fabulous.

I can’t tell you how happy this movie made me. Hoping this is what picks the project up for me a little!

BRAAAAAAAAINS!! MOOOOOORE BRAAAAAAINS!

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Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Date Watched: October 31, 2010
Source: DVD

Comedic horror is never good. This movie defines what comedic horror should be. Everything about this movie is great. I love how Shaun goes about his every day life and is so jaded, he takes no notice to the world collapsing into zombiehood all around him. He goes by his regular corner store and is oblivious to bloody hand prints on the refrigerator case door. People lurching by looking like, well… looking like death warmed over, blood oozing from their mouths. Shaun has no idea.

And his cricket bat is awesome.

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Zombieland (2009)

Date Watched: Unknown
Source: TV

This was billed so high by very trusted sources, and I wanted to love this. But I think it was over-billed.

Something about those girls just didn’t sit right with me. I didn’t buy it. Oh don’t get me wrong, there were some really good laughs. And of course, the zombies were cool. Zombies are always cool.

The last part just irritated me. The whole amusement park deal just didn’t work. From start to finish.

Another solid “meh”. Not much to say.

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The Evil Dead (1981)

Date Watched: August 22, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

This was seriously the best worst movie ever. Seriously. What a horrible, FANTASTIC movie. The zombies were so freaking awesome it’s not even funny. Bruce Campbell was the worst actor I’ve ever seen… but the whole movie was so camp it actually worked. I just loved it. Like my buddy augustlan emailed me… it’s “all sorts of win”.

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Dead Snow (2009)

Date Watched: July 4, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

Freakin’ A… just, freakin’ A. What better way to celebrate America than with zombie Nazis?

First, EVERYONE knows that a weekend in a cabin in the woods, regardless of the weather, is bad news. Second, EVERYONE knows that an outhouse in the woods at night is bad news. Third, EVERYONE knows that sex in the woods is bad news. Obviously, someone is going to die. Oh and really, if you have some creepy guy knock on your door and he comes in spouting about evil from 50 years ago, don’t have him in for coffee. And later when you happen to find a box of treasure goodies from, coincidentally, 50 years ago, maybe you should leave them there. And when you do get attacked by zombies, Nazi or otherwise, you never split up! Stupid.

Seriously though, this was good and gory. Guts, brains, blood galore. Yum.

This a gut-ripping good time. Huzzah!

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Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Date Watched: July 3, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

Obviously, this movie is a classic… and it doesn’t become a classic by being crap. “They’re coming to get you, Barbara… they’re COMING for you Barbara!” has always been one of my favorite lines. Plus, it was sampled in one of my favorite club songs, but that’s another story.

And I have to admit, I totally cheered when that guy punched Barbara in the face. She was so damned annoying!

This movie is a prime example of why I joined Netflix. I called myself a horror fan, but I didn’t have my proper horror education… I hadn’t seen this movie until now, for instance. It’s a must-see for zombie lovers… it’s where the real zombies started.

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Deadgirl (2008)

Date Watched: June 18, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

Briefly disturbing, overly boring, entirely predictable. Two teenage outcasts go into an abandoned mental hospital to explore. They find a girl in a room that’s been rusted shut for ages. She’s naked, dirty, and tied in four-points to a gurney. Let’s see. Two teenage boys. One has a conscience. The other one doesn’t, and he’s horny as heck. What do you think happens? Like I said, predictable. It’s supposed to be their secret. So, naturally, what do you think happens? Predictable. Then they discover that if she bites someone, they turn into someone like her. Ooh. GROUNDBREAKING.

Predictable, stupid, disturbing for about 5 seconds, 20 tops.

Again, don’t bother.

Queue it on Netflix

Fido (2006)

Date Watched: June 17, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I heart this movie. It’s such a great spoof of the 50s alone, but you add zombies into it and it’s fantastic. Everyone in the neighborhood with any wealth has a servant zombie controlled by a collar that makes them not want to eat human flesh… but one little boy realizes the zombie makes a nice pet, calls him Fido, and acts like he’s man’s best friend. Except a game in the park turns into an accidental nosh-fest for Fido and it unleashes zombies amuck! But the question is, will Fido stay faithful despite his zombie tendencies?

Terrific, funny, spooftastic, and just an all around good way to spend a couple of hours.

Queue it on Netflix