The Possession (2012)

Despite getting stuck in a theatre full of moron teenagers who whooped and hollered and screamed every time someone blinked their eyes, I still really enjoyed this movie.

We’ve seen the exorcism done a million times. The Rite, The Last Exorcism, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, and most notoriously, The Exorcist. But never a Jewish exorcism. The idea of a Dybbuk box (a box said to hold a demonic spirit in Jewish folklore) is certainly interesting, and in the case of the box in the film, the contents themselves can be rather ominous.

But at any rate, the movie was quite good. Jeffrey Dean Morgan was great, and Natasha Calis was fantastic. She has a face that looks perfectly angelic one second, and can chill your blood the next. The scene when she’s talking to her father about the box while she’s scarfing food was especially creepy, and also the kitchen scene with her mother. My feet hurt for a little while after that.

Definitely worth a trip to the movies, I think. Just make sure you’re in a less rambunctious group. I think I would have appreciated it even more if it hadn’t been so heavy narrated by the peanut gallery.

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The Maid (2005)

Countdown to Halloween: October 23, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I just love Asian horror. I think it has something to do with how rooted a lot of Asian cultures are in their history and in folklore. This film centered around the Chinese belief that during the Seventh Month, the gates of hell are open and ghosts, including spirits of ancestors, come back to visit. They must appease these spirits by preparing ritualistic, elaborate meals with empty places at the table for the dead, burning incense, and making sacrifices by burning paper. Without these customs, this movie would have no footing.

The cover bills it as a mix of The Sixth Sense and Ju-On and that description was dead on point. It took the best parts of The Sixth Sense and the best parts of Ju-On and mashed them together. As usual, the scares are subtle and even creepier for it. The story held me, and the imagery was (no pun intended) haunting. I feel a little uneasy still thinking about the last scene.

Just loved this.

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For The Bible Tells Me So (2007)

Date Watched: July 25, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I hate that these people exist.

If God wants to judge someone for being gay, that’s his prerogative… NOT YOURS. Especially your own child.

There were two different stories here that stick in my mind. One was a family who, when their son came out… while they were disappointed and maybe ashamed at first, they did everything they could to learn, including speaking with several psychologists… all the while, still loving their son. Now, they’re activists for gay rights, and they’re still firm in their faith. They just took the time to study long enough to learn that the typical Leviticus arguments are garbage and selectively read and exploited to justify hatemongers.

The other story was a mother whose daughter was so terrified to come out to her, she wrote a letter while away at college. Her mother then wrote her a letter back saying how disappointed she was, how hurt… and of course, Bible references. Typical… selectively read Leviticus. You know it’s just as big a sin, according to scripture, to wear linen and cotton at the same time? Anyway, this girl never spoke to her mother again, and she hung herself in her closet. Her mother basically caused the death of her daughter. Only after this happened did the mother bother to learn anything. She ran her mouth first, and then took the effort to know her daughter after her death. Now she’s an activist of some sort trying to prevent other parents having to go through the same thing. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. Other parents? How about the kids who end their lives? The parents aren’t the ones suffering. Honestly, if your own ignorance causes you suffering, I have no sympathy. It’s self-inflicted suffering. You did it, you deserve it. If you can’t be bothered to learn and try and form EDUCATED opinions, rather than relying on so-called “Christian” radical rhetoric, then you deserve every shard of pain you feel.

All this to say what I think I’ve already gotten across here… this was a very emotional documentary. A very well-made film. The angrier, the sadder, the more emotional you get, the bigger the proof that the filmmaker did what he/she set out to do. This is no exception.

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Paul (2010)

Date Watched: April 4, 2011
Source: Theatre

This movie had so many epically awesome things in it. First of all, I and my circle of friends are giant geeks. This was right up our alley. First of all, you have Seth Rogen, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Kristin Wiig, Jane Lynch, and Jason Bateman. You’ve got religious fanatics and rednecks. You’ve got aliens, and Star Wars, and various dozens of geek references, including the epitome of geekdom… the ComicCon. Hell, you’ve even got British accents! Couldn’t ask for more!

The only problem with this movie is the religious fanatics (not the funny kind in the movie) who bitch to all holy hell about the Christian cracks, evolution stuff, and flat-out “hard evidence” that God doesn’t exist. The reviews were everywhere, and really, these people shouldn’t be allowed to converse with society, nevermind go to the movies.

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Eat Pray Love (2010)

Date Watched: March 26, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

This was a little back and forth for me. Oddly enough, the part that got a little tiring was the part that everyone else probably loved… the “Love” part. But at any rate, on the whole, I really enjoyed this. I feel like it probably would have been a better book than a movie, and that’s not just because everyone who’s read it says so. I found Julia Roberts decidedly less annoying than usual, which surprised me. And the little healer guy cracked me up. I can’t remember his name… pretty sure it was something weird and hard to spell anyway, but I could’ve seriously listened to him talk for hours. He had a “sleepytime” voice.

I’d watch it again. Not sure if I’d buy it, but I’d definitely watch it again.

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Waco: The Rules of Engagement (1997)

Date Watched: February 12, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I’m half ashamed to admit that I ultimately had no idea what the whole Waco thing was about. It happened in 1993, and I was only 10. I guess that’s old enough to have heard about it, and to know a building was on fire, but that’s sort of it. Even later in life, I thought it was about the cult itself, but it turns out that the huge deal with Waco wasn’t the Branch Davidians, but our own law enforcement.

Basically, the Branch Davidians were accused of having illegal weapons, and the ATF/FBI had a 51 day siege, with the cult members holed up in their enormous church compound, and the ATF surrounding them. The ATF claims they never fired a shot before the Davidians, but there’s evidence collected and analyzed by our own government (namely infrared recordings from an aerial camera) that was allegedly hidden to protect the powers-that-be. Apparently, there were a lot of women and children basically tortured and massacred during the siege; tanks with sprayers attached to their turrets “poked” holes in the building and sprayed tear gas, which is actually a powder mixed with another gas. The gas they used was supposed to be near fatal if sprayed directly onto someone, and also if someone wasn’t wearing a gas mask. Of course, there weren’t any gas masks for babies… so… you figure that one out.

But this isn’t about who did what. I watched this because I wanted to learn about what happened in Waco, and now I feel like I have a pretty good grip on the subject. I learned something. And I wasn’t bored while doing it. So that makes this a quality documentary.

fin.

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The Rite (2011)

Date Watched: January 29, 2011
Source: Theatre

For any of you who’ve either been following my blog or have gone back and read, oh, the last week of October, you’ll already know that my all-time favorite horror movie is The Exorcist. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it a million times: It’s the perfect, timeless horror movie. It never gets any less haunting. So naturally, any movies having to do with exorcism are facing some hard criticism from me, to say the very least. Exorcist: The Beginning = crap. Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist = crap. The Exorcism of Emily Rose = a crappy ripoff.

So of course, I felt like this was going to be garbage too. The problem with all of those movies, especially the latter, is that they try to recapture The Exorcist by using the same tricks. No. Doesn’t work. I guess Michael Petroni, Matt Baglio, and Mikael Håfström figured that out too, because not only do they refrain from ripping off the original great, but they actually poke fun at others who do. Early on in the film, when skeptical seminary student Michael visits Father Lucas to see an exorcism first hand, Father Lucas actually says something along the lines of, “What, are you expecting pea soup?” When I heard that, I figured that this film was finally going to take exorcism a little bit more seriously.

And, they most certainly did. A lot of reviews of this film bashed it, but that’s because I think they were looking for some pea soup. This film goes more into what a real possession and exorcism looks like. It’s not always just a bunch of obscenities and grotesque physical manifestations.

So while the two people who accompanied me to this movie were so-so about it, I really enjoyed it.

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#1: The Exorcist (1973)

There is absolutely not one bad thing you can say about this movie. It’s scary as hell, no matter how old the movie gets. The score is incredible; “Tubular Bells” is probably one of the greatest, most chilling compositions in existence. Linda Blair is absolutely incredible as Regan. The imagery is haunting. The gore is gratuitous but warranted. Everything about this movie is just an amazing example about true, scary, timeless horror.

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God on Trial (2008)

Date Watched: September 25, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

If the Jews are God’s chosen people, and he vowed to take care of them, was he in breach of contract with them? Those are the charges – breach of contract – brought up against God during a “trial” held in an extermination camp dormitory. Half of the men know they’re to die by the next day, and they spend their last hours trying to determine if God went against their contract with Him.

It’s an interesting argument made by both sides. You might start the film with an argument and “verdict” already in mind, but you’ll end the film wondering. It’s an excellent movie for anyone who struggles with the possibility of God. Great movie.

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Devil (2010)

Date Watched: September 19, 2010
Source: Theatre

I have been waiting to write about this movie since the day I saw it.

Okay. I wanted to see this really REALLY bad, because obviously, I like teh h0rr0rz. I avoid previews and such so vehemently because I hate spoilers, though, that I had no idea it was an M. Night Shyamalan film. Now folks, I hate M. Night. Shyamalan. He writes, produces, directs, and appears in every film he does. And like my friend karmander once said about him, “if one is to rely solely on oneself, one must produce better results.” So true. Man, for all the crap this guy does with a movie, you think it’d be good.

So when I was sitting in the theatre and his name popped up, I was like “oh, crap.” But then I noticed that there were other people involved as well. Well, would you look at that? Mr. Cocky learned to play nice with other people!

Now, the premise is a little bit shaky. Anyone that doesn’t believe in God isn’t going to like this movie, because the entire premise is based on Catholic folklore. If you believe in God, then you’re probably interested in the story. So I had no issue with the story the way a lot of people do.

I enjoyed the whole movie. I didn’t think it was bad at all. But it wasn’t scary. If the movie stayed constant from start to finish, I would’ve hated it. But the reveal of which person was satan? O. M. G. I do not get THAT creeped out THAT easily and let me tell you? My boyfriend’s leg probably had finger marks in it for a while afterward. I had visions of that face in my head. It was Sunday, and now it’s Wednesday, and I STILL get the willies.

So I am considering this movie a definite win. The entire movie could’ve sucked as bad as all of M. Night Shyamalamadingdong’s movies have, and that 5 minute span of film would’ve saved it completely. Criticize if you must, say I have bad taste in movies, but let me tell you something. When I need to turn the lights on before I enter a dark basement… it was a good movie.

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