Leprechaun (1993)

Date Watched: May 21, 2011
Source: Netflix

Oh, how I wanted to love this movie. I wanted to love it from the second I saw Mike Myers making fun of it in Wayne’s World 2. It just wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad good either. I almost feel guilty disliking it because Warwick Davis played the Leprechaun and I love Warwick Davis. He played the title character in my favorite movie of all-time — Willow. I also think Jennifer Aniston was a bit of a distraction, and her LA Gear hi-tops, which made me remember my own pair of LA Gear hi-tops and long for the 80s again.

It was just too predictable. And it was over too easy. “Fuck you, Lucky Charms”? Come on… that’s your best tough guy line? Sigh.

AND, it was a Dino deLaurentiis film! He did Halloween! Come oooooon 😦

Sigh.

Queue it on Netflix

The Birdcage (1993)

Date Watched: May 21, 2011
Source: Netflix

I know people have been telling me for years that I need to see The Birdcage, and I’m not entirely sure why I never did. Heck, even my grandmother raves about what a hilarious movie it is.

And she’s right.

Holy crap… I have to say… I love Robin Williams but I didn’t buy it. Maybe because I’ve seen him do his “gay” thing before in other movies, but I didn’t buy it. I did, however, completely buy Nathan Lane. He might kill me for saying it if he ever read this, but he reminded me a lot of my old roommate, David. I swear David could have played that part just as well… I know, because I’ve seen that part in my kitchen for 3 years. That wasn’t how David was naturally, but he could play it up better than anyone. Except maybe Nathan Lane. Anyway, I just loved him. The scene when he was trying to learn to act straight in the cafe was freakin’ brilliant.

And Hank Azaria cracked me the hell up. Seriously, that man is a genius. He really is. The scope of his talent is, just… off the charts. But I think he’s insanely underrated. He was one of my favorite parts of this movie, hands down.

I’d buy this. I don’t say that about everything I love, but I’d buy this, and watch it over and over.

And over.

…and over.

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Bridesmaids (2011)

Date Watched: May 19, 2011
Source: Theatre

Worst movie ever.

The ONLY funny thing in this movie is Melissa McCarthy. She’s hysterical. Everything about her made me giggle.

And, the best scene happened after the movie was over. “Is there a hungry bear here somewhere? Because I have a big bear sandwich…”

That’s it. Well, that and Wilson Philips singing “Hold On”.

GAH.

What a shit movie to celebrate the blog’s year anniversary, and my birthday!

Don’t. Bother.

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Fast Five (2011)

Date Watched: May 2, 2011
Source: Theatre

You can say whatever you want about the F&F franchise, but I love it. Granted, I haven’t seen 2 or 4, but I’m told that 2 is unwatchable and also unrelated to the rest of them. I still need to see 4, and I feel like I still need to try and watch 2.

But anyway, the first one is one of my favorite movies. It’s one of my big-time quotables, apparently. Especially drunk, so I’m told. But I’ve loved that movie since the first time I saw it. Then I saw 3… against my better judgment, since I HATE watching movies out of sequence. And I liked it quite a bit. I didn’t really want to see 5, since I hadn’t seen 4… and it seems as though I missed a few important details. So I really do need to see 4.

I loved 5. Something about F&F makes their heinous errors completely acceptable. Like in the first one. O’Connor overdoes it with the NOS, and that causes… his floor panel to fall out? And little things… like when Jesse’s looking under the hood of the Supra that Brian has towed in. He says, “2JZ, no shit!” when every Supra had that engine. Little things like that.

And there were huge errors like that in 5. I really wish I could point them out… but I don’t do spoilers, so I’ll just say this: The climax… the actual heist… is utterly ridiculous. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love it though.

Anywho, I guess my general point here is that I loved the movie. It’s hard to post about recent movies without spoilers and still get my point across… but… there it is.

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Gran Torino (2008)

Date Watched: April 25, 2011
Source: redbox

Wow.

Of course I thought this was going to be another ho-hum car movie. I was delighted to find out that the movie really doesn’t have much to do with the car at all, nice as it is.

Clint Eastwood is so fun to watch. I am not by any means saying he’s a good actor. In fact, I don’t really think he is. I have no way of knowing, since he always plays the same character, more or less. But that also doesn’t mean he’s not fun to watch. And in this movie, it’s especially fun.

I don’t care what anyone says… the dude is funny. He’s an absolute curmudgeon, and the racism just makes it hysterical. Anyone who doesn’t think so is really just too sensitive. Hell, look at Thao and Sue. He calls Thao “zip” about a skillion times, and Sue and Thao just glaze over it. Nobody cares. In fact, Sue doesn’t let him fool her into believing he’s that much of an asshole. She knows there’s something good in there, and she finds it underneath all the piss, vinegar, and racial slurs. Those are all just a facade.

Point is, I freaking loved this.

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Paul (2010)

Date Watched: April 4, 2011
Source: Theatre

This movie had so many epically awesome things in it. First of all, I and my circle of friends are giant geeks. This was right up our alley. First of all, you have Seth Rogen, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Kristin Wiig, Jane Lynch, and Jason Bateman. You’ve got religious fanatics and rednecks. You’ve got aliens, and Star Wars, and various dozens of geek references, including the epitome of geekdom… the ComicCon. Hell, you’ve even got British accents! Couldn’t ask for more!

The only problem with this movie is the religious fanatics (not the funny kind in the movie) who bitch to all holy hell about the Christian cracks, evolution stuff, and flat-out “hard evidence” that God doesn’t exist. The reviews were everywhere, and really, these people shouldn’t be allowed to converse with society, nevermind go to the movies.

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Alien Vs. Ninja (2010)

Date Watched: April 2, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

This was so bad I forgot to put it on the list of movies to talk about.

I know it was supposed to be bad… at least I hope I’m right on that… but this was bad even for supposed-to-be-bad movies. It was just… bad.

And unlike Superfly, “bad” definitely does not mean “good”.

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Casino (1995)

Date Watched: April 2, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

It seems like it’s been a while since I’ve watched a good movie.

Now while I did really love this movie, I think it’s impossible for me to see anything with DeNiro and Pesci that isn’t Goodfellas. Pesci was a crazy outlaw in this movie just as much as he was in Goodfellas — one scene even resembled the one where he and DeNiro beat the made guy to death… the one they stuffed in the trunk — but he sounded different. And DeNiro was kinda innocent. And nicer. And probably the hardest thing to swallow… he was JEWISH. I just can’t accept that one.

Despite my inability to separate those two as a team from Goodfellas, I really did love this movie. One thing I will say is that I felt horrible for Sam when it came to Ginger. Granted, he kind of brought it on himself when he basically told her to marry him whether she loved him or not, but GOODNESS did she go crazy. Dear Lord. Oh and give me a break, will ya? Lester Diamond was so freakin ugly! What the hell did Ginger see in him? BLECH!

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Jaws (1975)

Date Watched: April 2, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

Did I miss something?

This has been a classic movie for no less than a skillion years. Or at least, 36. But I don’t really get why.

Okay, there was a shark where he shouldn’t be. And they weren’t equipped to really deal with it. And the shark happened to be a little bit smart. And the mayor wouldn’t spend any money. And people died.

So what? Maybe it’s because I haven’t gone into a natural body of water that wasn’t artificially lined with some sort of tile or concrete in a sweet forever that I’ve kind of forgotten how terrifying it is. I mean, that IS why I won’t swim in a lake or ocean or whatever. Not necessarily sharks, but creatures in general. And actually, my fear of the ocean is way more about jellyfish than sharks.

But this just wasn’t scary. Shwam lists it as one of her all-time favorite horror movies. Personally, I would rather watch Shark Week.

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The War of the Roses (1989)

Date Watched: March 26, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

Eeehhh…

I don’t really like Kathleen Turner… and her character really made it especially difficult. Granted, he ignored her for a long time, or at least pushed her aside for his career. But he actually attempted to make things right. Even if it was too late, did she have to be such a bitch about it? No, I don’t think she did. And as far as the house goes, it was HIS money that bought the house. Who gives a crap if she picked it out and decorated it? He paid for it. Her decorations were purchased with his money.

And, I think it would’ve been a lot funnier if Danny DeVito was Oliver instead. Not saying anything negative about Kirk Douglas at all… he’s great. I think the comedic aspect would have been greater with DeVito though.

Queue it on Netflix