Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009)

Countdown to Halloween: October 24, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

This film started out as a hilarious, campy zombie movie. It fell kind of silent around midway though, and it stayed that way. However, I will make a list of the things that were great about it:

• The gay guys, especially the redhead.  So funny.
• The scene where the dark haired gay guy comes out to his mom.  Priceless.
• Frieda and her boyfriend in the car when the zombies attack.  “THAT’S MY BLOOD!  AAAAAHHHH!”
• Cleansing your immortal souls.
• Frieda’s dad out looking for her amongst the zombies.  That guy is awesome.
• The redneck dad’s “American Test” for Frieda.

It’s a shame this movie didn’t keep up the momentum; it could have been excellent.

See it on Netflix

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

Date Watched: September 10, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I usually try to read the first few reviews on Netflix to see what other people thought. The third review down says that this is John Carpenter’s greatest film. Um, no. Halloween… hello? Thank you.

Anyway, not only was this NOT John Carpenter’s best film, but I was a little upset to find out it was John Carpenter after watching how crappy it was. Yeah, I get that it was supposed to be a spoof, and there were some parts that were mildly interesting. Lo-Pan, for instance, was creepy at first. And the 3 Storms had humorously large hats.

But in general, I really don’t like Kurt Russell. I don’t think he’s a good actor, either seriously or cheesy (in this case, cheesy). I also don’t like Kim Cattrall, and she’s even worse cheesy than she is serious (I hate Sex in the City also, for reference).

This is just a movie I don’t really need to see again.

Queue it on Netflix

My Cousin Vinny (1992)

Date Watched: August 6, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

Yes. I am well aware that I am very very late to this party.

I freakin’ loved this. No surprise, really. How can you go wrong with Joe Pesci? No matter what he does, his attitude shines. Weird to say that since his attitude is usually crappy, but it makes you laugh. I love a good dose of schadenfreude.

Marisa Tomei is fantastic. I’m actually not a big fan of her, generally speaking, but she was hysterical in this.

And, RIP Fred Gwynne. Excellent, excellent actor.

Queue it on Netflix

Heartburn (1986)

Date Watched: August 6, 2011
Source: On Demand

Meh. I mean, it’s definitely not the best role Jack Nicholson has ever done (though it’s still along the same lines — always the cad) and it certainly isn’t the best role Meryl Streep has done (I think I even like Karen Silkwood more than Rachel). I mean, it was pretty decent, but they’ve both definitely done better. Even still, I’m not sure it would’ve worked with other people. I don’t think the story is original enough to be pulled off by non A-listers.

Queue it on Netflix

The Hangover: Part II (2011)

Date Watched: May 28, 2011
Source: Theatre

I totally understand wanting to do another Hangover movie. The first one is easily one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen. I swear, Ed Helms is a comic genius, and Zach Galifianakis howeveryouspellit was a damned riot.

But it just didn’t work. Come on guys… what are the chances of this happening again? The first time was understandable… they drank themselves stupid. This time, really? Really Allen? It’s not nearly as believable. It’s a stretch, it really really is. Stu’s tattoo isn’t nearly as hilarious as his missing tooth from the first one. In fact, nothing in here matches the first one, at all.

I wonder if this would have been funnier if it was the only Hangover that existed. It’s hard to say. You might love this if you haven’t seen the first one… but if you haven’t seen the first one, I’d say don’t watch this one. Watch the first. You can’t compete with comic perfection.

But I will say that Ken Jeong singing “Time In A Bottle” in the elevator was gold. I will definitely give them that much.

Queue it on Netflix

The Birdcage (1993)

Date Watched: May 21, 2011
Source: Netflix

I know people have been telling me for years that I need to see The Birdcage, and I’m not entirely sure why I never did. Heck, even my grandmother raves about what a hilarious movie it is.

And she’s right.

Holy crap… I have to say… I love Robin Williams but I didn’t buy it. Maybe because I’ve seen him do his “gay” thing before in other movies, but I didn’t buy it. I did, however, completely buy Nathan Lane. He might kill me for saying it if he ever read this, but he reminded me a lot of my old roommate, David. I swear David could have played that part just as well… I know, because I’ve seen that part in my kitchen for 3 years. That wasn’t how David was naturally, but he could play it up better than anyone. Except maybe Nathan Lane. Anyway, I just loved him. The scene when he was trying to learn to act straight in the cafe was freakin’ brilliant.

And Hank Azaria cracked me the hell up. Seriously, that man is a genius. He really is. The scope of his talent is, just… off the charts. But I think he’s insanely underrated. He was one of my favorite parts of this movie, hands down.

I’d buy this. I don’t say that about everything I love, but I’d buy this, and watch it over and over.

And over.

…and over.

Queue it on Netflix

Bridesmaids (2011)

Date Watched: May 19, 2011
Source: Theatre

Worst movie ever.

The ONLY funny thing in this movie is Melissa McCarthy. She’s hysterical. Everything about her made me giggle.

And, the best scene happened after the movie was over. “Is there a hungry bear here somewhere? Because I have a big bear sandwich…”

That’s it. Well, that and Wilson Philips singing “Hold On”.

GAH.

What a shit movie to celebrate the blog’s year anniversary, and my birthday!

Don’t. Bother.

Queue it on Netflix

Paul (2010)

Date Watched: April 4, 2011
Source: Theatre

This movie had so many epically awesome things in it. First of all, I and my circle of friends are giant geeks. This was right up our alley. First of all, you have Seth Rogen, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Kristin Wiig, Jane Lynch, and Jason Bateman. You’ve got religious fanatics and rednecks. You’ve got aliens, and Star Wars, and various dozens of geek references, including the epitome of geekdom… the ComicCon. Hell, you’ve even got British accents! Couldn’t ask for more!

The only problem with this movie is the religious fanatics (not the funny kind in the movie) who bitch to all holy hell about the Christian cracks, evolution stuff, and flat-out “hard evidence” that God doesn’t exist. The reviews were everywhere, and really, these people shouldn’t be allowed to converse with society, nevermind go to the movies.

Queue it on Netflix

This is Spinal Tap (1984)

Date Watched: March 26, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I’d heard about this movie for years, and every now and then someone would make a reference to it that would be lost on me, and I would get the typical “YOU’VE NEVER SEEN IT?!” response.

I’ve seen A TON of movies. I’m trying to see more. Give me time, people!

Anyway, I had no idea that this was Christopher Guest. The six-fingered man! And he’s soooo different. I loved it. There isn’t a whole lot I can say here other than that. It’s simply, “I loved it”.

That, and… “Stonehenge” might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Ever.

Queue it on Netflix

Frankie and Johnny (1991)

Date Watched: December 4, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I don’t usually like these sorts of movies, but this one just has so much win. First, I love Al Pacino. Second, I wasn’t a huge fan of Michelle Pfeiffer, and this film was good enough to redeem her. Third, who didn’t wish they could live in Manhattan in the late 80s/early 90s? It’s the perfect setting for a romance.

Frankie is fragile and damaged goods, and wants nothing to do with Johnny, who’s just become a cook at the Manhattan cafe she waitresses at. But Johnny has his eye on her, and he will do anything to woo her. It works, and then it doesn’t work, and then it works, and then it doesn’t work… their relationship is priceless and beautiful and just plain real.

Love, love love this movie.

Queue it on Netflix