Waco: The Rules of Engagement (1997)

Date Watched: February 12, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I’m half ashamed to admit that I ultimately had no idea what the whole Waco thing was about. It happened in 1993, and I was only 10. I guess that’s old enough to have heard about it, and to know a building was on fire, but that’s sort of it. Even later in life, I thought it was about the cult itself, but it turns out that the huge deal with Waco wasn’t the Branch Davidians, but our own law enforcement.

Basically, the Branch Davidians were accused of having illegal weapons, and the ATF/FBI had a 51 day siege, with the cult members holed up in their enormous church compound, and the ATF surrounding them. The ATF claims they never fired a shot before the Davidians, but there’s evidence collected and analyzed by our own government (namely infrared recordings from an aerial camera) that was allegedly hidden to protect the powers-that-be. Apparently, there were a lot of women and children basically tortured and massacred during the siege; tanks with sprayers attached to their turrets “poked” holes in the building and sprayed tear gas, which is actually a powder mixed with another gas. The gas they used was supposed to be near fatal if sprayed directly onto someone, and also if someone wasn’t wearing a gas mask. Of course, there weren’t any gas masks for babies… so… you figure that one out.

But this isn’t about who did what. I watched this because I wanted to learn about what happened in Waco, and now I feel like I have a pretty good grip on the subject. I learned something. And I wasn’t bored while doing it. So that makes this a quality documentary.

fin.

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Fair Haired Child (2006)

Date Watched: October 2, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

I’m not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I was pretty surprised (yet glad) when it was over after only 55ish minutes. But on the other hand, I think if they’d had more time to work with (this was a made-for-TV gem) and it had been a big screen movie, it could have been pretty good.

There are two things that make me say this. The first is the premise. The idea was pretty decent. Nice couple loses their teenage son in a freak accident on his fifteenth birthday. They resort to making a pact with evil to bring him back at an insanely high cost. Not to them, but it’s a freakin lot of work, that’s for sure. Anyway, the second reason is because the creature in this film (I was shocked to see that the image on the box art was actually the same as in the movie) is creepy as hell. I saw it… wasn’t expecting it because usually the art for horror movies is totally misleading and often much better than the movies… and I may have “eep!”ed. And when something makes me “eep!”, it’s usually at least a success. Possibly only a mild success, but a success none-the-less.

Not bad, I suppose. Though, I much prefer the Point Break or Free Willy or even “House M.D.” guest star appearance Lori Petty to this one. This one is… blah.

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Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

Date Watched: June 13, 2010
Source: Netflix

I kept thinking, “When is something going to HAPPEN?” I kept wondering when the heck she was going to pop that kid out. It wasn’t until the very end that everything came together, and I realized the reason for the slow buildup. The pregnancy almost feels like a full 9 months sometimes during the movie. Like you’re watching it in real time. Maybe it was the times, but I would never go to a doctor if he told me not to take any vitamins, but instead to take some drink made by my quack neighbor. I can see if he gave me the recipe for a drink to make it myself, or if it came in little packets or bottles or whatever… being a naturalist is fine. It’s the part about it being from the crazy neighbor I never would have gone along with. But she did… she had to… or else there would have been no movie.

But as she grows, so does her fear that someone wants her baby for something sinister, and worse, that her own husband promised the baby to them. Even as you watch, you can’t really tell if she’s nuts or if there’s something to the whole thing. You don’t really find out until the last couple of minutes, but it’s worth the wait.

The only reason why I’m rating this the way I did is because again, this was very Seven Pounds. I’m sorry, but I just can’t ever say I loved a movie that really didn’t move until the last bit. The ending was great, but it didn’t make up for the other 2 hours where I kept wondering when something truly interesting was going to happen.

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Follow The Prophet (2009)

Date Watched: June 6, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

Boo, hiss. This movie didn’t go nearly far enough into the psychotic behavior of the Fundamentalist church. Yes, they showed the father try to marry his minor daughters off, and try to “teach” them how to “love” their husbands himself. They also showed a midnight “wedding” to the prophet, used the words “keep sweet”, and showed the prophet trying to have sex with the 15 year old who was supposed to be his new wife. And uh, that’s about it. Other than that, you have a bitter Colonel who didn’t get to save his daughter from dying in Afghanistan, so he tries to save this girl. Ho-hum. Boring.

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Jesus Camp (2006)

Date Watched: June 3, 2010

Source: Netflix Instant Play

This was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen. When I talked about The Fourth Kind, and I listed the few movies that have terrified me… this one leaves them all in the dust. This one makes them look like Barney the purple (magenta) freaking dinosaur. Why? Why do you ask? How could something called Jesus Camp with a cute little girl on the front possibly be scarier than aliens and ghosts and zombies?

Because this, my friends, is real. This is a real-life documentary. This is about Evangelical Christians. And these people are the reason why when I say I’m a Christian, I will undoubtedly get at least one look like I have thirteen heads. These are the people that make other people hate organized religion. These are the ones who make people not believe in God. I’ll give you a little list of things that happened in this film.  Keep in mind, this is all about children.  They are preaching to just children, the oldest of which I think was 10 or 11.

• An obese “Evangelical youth preacher” screams about people not willing to fast and “give up their evening meals”.  Obviously she hadn’t fasted anytime in the last decade.
• The same woman (henceforth referred to as EYP) made posters for her campers, in letters dripping in blood, that said “The punishment for sin is death”.  Good morning, kids!  Enjoy your Cheerios!  But remember, if you sin, you DIE.
• EYP stood up in front of her campers and said that Harry Potter would have been put to death in the Old Testament because he was a warlock and an enemy of God.
• EYP also said to these young children, “you all go to church and then you’re a different way when you go to school.  You are phonies and hypocrites.  The army of God has no room for phonies and hypocrites!”  Then she proceeded to “wash” them of their sins by pouring freaking Deer Park bottled water on their hands, while they all sobbed like babies.
• A homeschooling mother told her son (with a four-inch wide, 2-foot long rat-tail haircut, mind you) that people who believe in anything but Creationism are stupid.
• A nine year old girl said that God isn’t in every church; some churches are called “dead churches”.  These are churches where people say, [zombie like, monotone voice] weworshipyougodweworshipyougod” and they sing three songs and that’s it.  God doesn’t go to those churches.  Apparently, God only likes churches where people stand up and scream like banshees that they love the Lord, and then they start babbling gibberish because that’s the Lord speaking through them, and they fall on the floor and go into convulsions and cry and scream and shriek… something that a room full of children demonstrated.  Do you have any idea how scary it is to see a tiny little girl screaming gibberish and writhing on the floor “in the name of the Lord”?
• An 11 year old girl states that she loves to dance, but she has a real problem making sure she’s always dancing for the Lord and not for the flesh.
• A man preached to this room full of children that abortion is wrong and they should all pray to the Lord to rid the world of it.  Then EYP sternly told them that they made a promise to pray to God to rid the world of abortions and if they didn’t do that, they would be promise breakers.  “DON’T BE PROMISE BREAKERS!!”  After that, they put giant pieces of red tape over their mouths with the word “LIFE” boldly written on it, and stood them in front of the capital in Washington DC in protest.  When should a 9 year old have to worry about abortion?  Um, NEVER.
• One of Dubya Bush’s advisors (I wish I could remember the name) stood up in front of a huge stadium of kids, and said something like, “I believe in the 10-year rule in marriage.  If you marry someone 30 years older than you, I hope they die so you can take all their money” and then he and all the kids laughed heartily.  He then said, in a candid to the camera, that an Evangelical church pops up in this country every 2 minutes, and then they all vote, and control the elections, and then control the country.  And, I quote: “Isn’t life GREAT?!”  This was obviously the most terrifying part about the whole thing.

This is only a small amount.  This doesn’t even begin to sum up the absolute brainwashing going on in this country’s youth.  I am a Christian.  I believe in God.  I do not believe in Creationsim.  And I do believe that these people are not Christians.  God says that we are all His children.  They say that only THEY are God’s children, and anyone who thinks differently from them is a sinner and will be punished with death.  I am 100% dead serious when I say that I very nearly had a panic attack while watching this movie. I used to go to an Evangelical Free church and it was nothing even remotely like this. It was a lot like my Reformed church, where we praised and worshipped in joy, not in fear and persecution. I’ll be interested to speak with my old friend that I attended that church with to get his take on it. (Scott, if you’re reading, that means you… expect an email)

I didn’t even know how I was supposed to rate this on Netflix. It was an excellently made documentary (by not-crazy people), so I wanted to give it four or five stars. But I didn’t want my FB friends, who get news updates when I rate something on Netflix, thinking I loved it because I am a psycho Evangelical and I believe that garbage. So I chose not to rate it. And I could probably keep writing, but if you want the truth, I’m at work and I’m starting to get fired up and a little panicky just thinking about a world where these people control the country I live in. So I’m going to stop now.

If you can stomach it though, I highly recommend this film. As I type, it’s available for Instant Play on Netflix. It’s the most ridiculously disturbing thing I’ve ever witnessed in my lifetime… and if I can say that after watching The Human Centipede, that’s saying a LOT.

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