Paul (2010)

Date Watched: April 4, 2011
Source: Theatre

This movie had so many epically awesome things in it. First of all, I and my circle of friends are giant geeks. This was right up our alley. First of all, you have Seth Rogen, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Kristin Wiig, Jane Lynch, and Jason Bateman. You’ve got religious fanatics and rednecks. You’ve got aliens, and Star Wars, and various dozens of geek references, including the epitome of geekdom… the ComicCon. Hell, you’ve even got British accents! Couldn’t ask for more!

The only problem with this movie is the religious fanatics (not the funny kind in the movie) who bitch to all holy hell about the Christian cracks, evolution stuff, and flat-out “hard evidence” that God doesn’t exist. The reviews were everywhere, and really, these people shouldn’t be allowed to converse with society, nevermind go to the movies.

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RoboCop (1987)

Date Watched: March 5, 2011
Source: Netflix Instant Play

While I’m not sure how I feel about this — I definitely do not rate it up there with other 80s classics that I know and love — there were some memorable points:

1. “Bitches leave.”
2. *Bob Morton gets shot several times in the leg* “STOP IT!”
3. “come quietly or there will be… trouble.” “awwww… fuck you!”
4. When the giant shooter/walker thing falls down the stairs and squeals like a pig on the landing
5. *shoots giant gun* “I… LIKE IT!”
6. “Murphy! I’m a mess!”

But I think the best part about this movie is the fact that Dan O’Herlihy, better known as CONAL FREAKIN COCHRAN is in this movie!

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The Stepford Wives (1975)

Date Watched: August 5, 2010
Source: Netflix

I wasn’t all that excited to see this, probably because the most I’d ever heard was from when the remake with Nicole Kidman came out. I’ll always try to watch the original before I watch any remakes, and I read somewhere that this one specifically needed to be seen before the remake. Still, I was ho-hum about it. And then I watched it.

And it was great. It was creepy how nobody noticed. It was creepy that the Men’s Association members made no attempt to hide the fact that they were creepy. I don’t even need to say how disgusting it is that these middle-aged men all wanted gorgeous, subservient women to meet their every whim without fail. I’m still not sure whether I’d consider that creepy or just disgusting, but I think I’m leaning toward it being just a tad creepy as well.

I’m not saying much, because I think the story is pretty well known, and I was actually surprised by part of it, so I don’t want to get too far in and spoil something. But for a horror film in the early 70s, I was extremely impressed with the acting. There was next to no cheese factor in this movie, and that’s pretty rare for any 70s/80s horror film.

Definitely worth the watch. I have the remake coming up at some point in my queue, but I really am not a fan of Nicole Kidman, so we’ll see how they match up. Expectations aren’t high though.

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Inception (2010)

Date Watched: July 17, 2010
Source: Theatre

Holy Helen of Troy what a FANTABULOUS movie. Absolutely, hands down, one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. I think it’s the best movie 2010 is going to see, that’s for sure. Frankly, I think this might be the best movie we’ve seen in a few years as well, and may see for a few years to come.

I can’t even imagine the Linda Blair style headspinning that had to go on to get this script written. There are so many intricate layers, each with its own action happening at the same time as every other layer… imagine a 4 story merry-go-round. Every other one is going in a different direction, but they’re all spinning at about 80mph. Once I had the first 10-20 minutes under my hat and I had it figured out, I’m pretty sure I didn’t blink the rest of the movie. Even if I had thought to, I probably wouldn’t have. If you blink, you could have sunk down two layers of the movie in the two milliseconds you had your eyes closed.

Aside from the brilliance of direction, script, acting, and overall execution, this plot is definitely something to sink your teeth in and nom for a while. Dreams are probably the most mystifying aspect of the human brain. When you’re dreaming, you’re not even in your bed anymore. For all intents and purposes, you’re smack dab in the world you’ve got going in your head. The brain works as though it’s awake, possibly even more. Even the body, though in rest mode, is still tested during so many dreams. Dreams will often stick with you long after they’re over, either making you smile or bringing a new wave of terror with every recollection of it. But the comforting part of the dream process is when you wake up, you know it was just a figment of your imagination. When you wake up, you know it’s over, and even though you may vividly remember it, you know they’re just that – memories.

Only problem is that this movie presents the possibility of your dreams not being your own. The possibility that several people can enter your dreams, manipulate them, and plant a simple idea in your head that could radically alter the direction of your life forever. That’s what’s really scary… your dreams are the one place you can act out your wildest fantasies, survive your worst fears, and nobody will ever be the wiser… except maybe you’re not really alone. And maybe your dream really isn’t yours. Maybe someone has built your dream for you. Maybe you’re being controlled by other people and being made to think it’s your own brain, your good old buddy brain, telling you the right thing to do. Maybe your instincts aren’t your instincts, but other people’s whims.

Scary, no?

Really, if you do nothing else this weekend, you need to go see this movie.

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Moon (2009)

Moon (2009)
“Pretty Good”

In the not-too-distant future, most of our energy needs are met by a harvesting operation on the moon. It’s a job largely performed by automated machinery, but for one lone (and lonely) human being. This time out, it’s Sam Bell (convincingly played by Sam Rockwell). Despite his “astronaut” job title, it’s quickly clear that Sam is just a grunt… doing manual labor with little mental stimulation. His only companion is GERTY, the highly mobile computer that functions as the brains of the operation (voiced well by Kevin Spacey).

After three long years, Sam is finally anticipating going home to his wife and child. As he prepares to hand off his duties to his yet-to-arrive replacement, he begins to experience some mighty strange things. Is he just going stir-crazy, or is something more sinister afoot? Soon, Sam begins to suspect the latter and that the mega-corporation that employs him, LUNAR (which seems a lot like many big companies of today), may be behind it. Hell, just the fact that they’d send a man off to spend three years alone on the moon was enough to convince me of their evil ways!

Moon was an official selection at Sundance, which I find a bit of a hit or miss proposition. Sometimes, those films are just too arty for their own good. Not this time. I found the movie well (if mostly slow) paced, and the characters (even GERTY) quite relatable. A real feeling of loneliness and despair permeates the film, closely mirroring the inner workings of Sam’s mind. His efforts to make a friend of his hallucination/nemesis is a telling sign of his desperate need for human contact. The action picks up near the end, as Sam searches for the truth. Are his efforts in vain? Will he ever get home? I’m certainly not going to tell… what kind of reviewer do you think I am?

–augustlan

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The Fly (1958)

Date Watched:  July 3, 2010
Source: Netflix Instant Play

Aaaaaaawesome. I talked to some people about this movie over the weekend and a lot of them said it was boring. Personally, I thought it was one of the easiest hour and a half blocks of time I ever spent. It was over before I realized it. The giant fly head and hand were absolutely hysterical, and I loved the way she screamed bloody murder at it and you could see about a hundred of her screaming through Andre’s eyes. Freaking great.

And I’m sorry, but the web… OH the web. “Help meeeeee! HEEEELLLLP MEEEEEEE!” Phenomenal. Just phenomenal.

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A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Date Watched: May 29, 2010

Source: Netflix Instant Play

For a classic, I was shocked at how bored I was. I came darned close to abandoning it. It was its status as a well-known classic that kept me watching, and I am sure glad I did. It starts out as nothing but a vulgar farce for a good deal of the beginning, and since the stuff happened that made me start this whole project, vulgar farces don’t really appeal to me anymore… much to my own surprise. I expressed my concerns to my roommate who assured me that it definitely turns around and stops being gratuitously icky, so I gave it another go. Basically, once Alex gets arrested, then it’s all interesting. And one of the most humorous things I’ve ever seen is the last scene of that film in the hospital. Alex eating the steak is EPIC. I couldn’t stop giggling. I’m not going to lie; I sort of loved listening to his narration. It was the only time I could understand what he was saying, but that’s beside the point. This was a really quality film, and I’m glad I didn’t miss out. There’s nothing I can even put in a list that wouldn’t give away some good stuff, so I won’t. I’ll just say it’s really worth the 2 ½ hours.

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The Crow (1994)

Date Watched: May 24, 2010

Source: Netflix

Wow, what a disappointment. I thought he was going to be a little more surreal than he was, but much like Candyman, he was just a normal looking human being, albeit wearing funny makeup, but still. I didn’t see the huge draw to this movie. I guess it’s more of a cult thing, and I’m usually into all that stuff, but this one just didn’t hit a good chord with me. I’m going to try it again another time, and discuss it again then. I really feel like I may have missed something, or not been in the mood to watch this particular film at the time. I want to give it another shot. So, that’s my non-verdict.

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Signs (2002)

Date Watched: May 23, 2010

Source: TV

Wow. M. Night Shyamalan is a cocky piece of work, isn’t he? This guy writes, produces, directs, AND appears in every single film he’s a part of. And like my friend Molly posted on my Facebook when I commented about it, to paraphrase… “one must yield better results if one is only going to rely on himself.” Is that ever true for Signs. It was a little bit creepy, but the alien is so atypical looking, it was just too much of the bad cheese. There was certainly a modicum of creep that stayed pretty constant throughout, which makes this not a total bomb in my mind. But when the alien is in their living room, and Merrill is able to swing the baseball bat here and there and beat him with it, without him getting away, and lo and behold, the alien can’t get wet! Honestly, can we say Wicked Witch of the West? Gremlins? HAVE AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT, MR. SHYAMALAN. You couldn’t come up with an original UFO, alien, OR defeat for said alien. The movie doesn’t even know if it’s a bomb or not. And I heard this was one of his better movies? Oy, I can’t WAIT for The Village to come from Netflix *sarcasm*

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12 Monkeys (1995)

Date Watched: May 22, 2010

Source: Netflix Instant Play

All I could think of is how much the mental health system has changed. This was great. You never know if you’re in the present or in the past, or in the future, and it’s sort of like Memento in that it’s told backwards. I didn’t miss anything this time, so I understood.

I was hesitant about this movie. An engineered virus that wipes out 90% of the world’s human inhabitants, hm, let’s see. First, Stephen King did it in The Stand. Then you have variations and copycats: Resident Evil, 28 Days, etc. I think the way this was executed though, it was definitely worth the watch. I think Brad Pitt plays a crazy guy pretty darned well, thankyouverymuch. I try not to say too much about the good ones, because I don’t want to post any serious spoilers. So, this is worth the rent.

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